Analyzing Clinton’s Nonsense on the Late Show

When we talk about “what happened” regarding the 2016 elections, we should always start with the clear point that in the bourgeois political extravaganza, no one is willing to take responsibility. And, obviously, the masters of not taking responsibility are the Clintons.

In the video, Colbert and Clinton spend the first two minutes on general fluff and wound-licking. Following that, Clinton says the point of her book is to figure out what happened, “so that it doesn’t happen again”. Of course, she receives raucous applause for this line. After all, she is on Colbert’s show.

What is “it” exactly? Bourgeois elections? The Democrats losing elections? I suppose she means the government of the Russian Federation “interfering” in the elections, but we’ll cover that a bit later.

She says at around the 3:40 mark, that she’s being as candid as she could be about “the mistakes [she] made, … but also, … everything from sexism and misogyny to voter suppression to the unusual behavior of the former director of the FBI and the Russians, and the Russians and you have been sounding the alarm about this, because I believe so strongly that they think they succeeded in messing with our democracy…”

We can unpack this more as the interview goes on, but you’ll notice how quickly she pivots from talking about her own actions to blaming everyone else. Throughout the rest of the interview, she fails to mention anything else about what she could have done to change the outcome of the election.

That’s not to say the other things aren’t important, but rather that in her perspective, she is not responsible for her own loss. Well, what the fuck? For someone who apparently extolls the virtues of the Amerikkkan political process, why is she complaining about it so much? I don’t remember any (literally, not one) of the other losers in my lifetime doing anything remotely like this.

BLM Clinton

“Russia made me say racist things in the 90s!”

Back to the video…

Around 4:30, she says that the “Russians” definitely were “influencing voters and, therefore, influencing opinion…”

Let’s assume, for a moment, this is true. What does that mean? The government of the Russian Federation supposedly bought ads on Facebook and published news articles that were particularly aimed at Clinton and her campaign, placing her in a bad light.

What’s the issue here?

Last time I checked, that’s perfectly legal and acceptable. In fact, that’s what you do in an election! You attempt to influence voters and opinion in order to help you achieve your personal desirable outcome.

Now, dear reader, you might protest that the problem is that Russia is a foreign government. However, I don’t hear anyone complaining about how Clinton received money and blessings from Saudi Arabia and Israel (along with countless other states).

So what’s the deal? Russia bought Facebook ads? And by doing so, influenced the election?

Good for them. They played the game and beat out other countries. It seems like if we accept the narrative that Clinton and Colbert are pushing, the whole process was merely a power-play between different countries. And in that power-play, Russia beat Saudi Arabia.

clinton saudi

Around 5:07, she claims that she’s “a bit of a Paula Revere.”

Can’t you hear it now? The Russians are coming! The Russians are coming!

This is fear-mongering and highfalutin bullshit at its finest.

So now we get to hear Clinton’s breakdown of Vladimir Putin’s strategy. Fasten your seatbelt, dear reader, because you’re about to get thrown through a whirlwind of garbage.

At 5:12, she begins:

“You know, you’ve gotta understand what Putin’s strategy is. He really doesn’t like democracy. He thinks its an inconvenient, messy process. And he doesn’t like us. And he wants to destabilize our country, sow doubt about our democracy. I mean, these latest revelations where you had Russians pretending to be Americans. You had fake Americans with fake news and fake stories and fake demonstrations. That wasn’t just because he’s bored and has nothing to do. He wants to undermine how we see each other, how we respect each other, how we support our institutions and our society. So, I think they believed they had a good outing in 2016 and I think they will be back in 2018 and 2020 unless we stop them.”

This analysis received applause. And it really shouldn’t have.

The hypocrisy here is so blatant and so shameless, I’m surprised it got past people at all.

Putin doesn’t like democracy? Putin is trying to sow doubt about “our democracy”?


What the hell is she talking about?

Who is the person who just wrote a book and is appearing on television to say that the most recent elections were illegitimate? Not Putin!

Who is the one saying that we had people faking citizenship and lying about facts in order to help their side? Not Putin!

Who likes democracy? Not Putin and certainly not Hillary Clinton!

Clinton Putin.jpg

“I hate democracy as much as you do.”

At 6:30, Clinton speculates as to why Putin wouldn’t like her. She concludes that it’s because she questioned the legitimacy of the elections in Russia in 2011. She goes on to say that Putin is still upset about the dismantling of the Soviet Union and that he wants to “undermine the European-American alliance.”

I think there are probably a few other pretty good reasons for Putin to cheer for anyone opposing Clinton. It’s true, she did question the legitimacy of the elections in 2011 – as did everyone else, because it was obviously rigged.

So, that’s probably not the primary reason.

Who ran on the platform of shooting down Russian planes flying over Syria?

Who was Secretary of State and oversaw the total destruction of Libya?

Who threatened to give more money to the Ukrainian government and started peddling revisionist narratives of the events of 2013-2014?

Clinton has a very proactive record of military aggression against sovereign countries and trying to corner Russia into very tight positions. As the regional power, the Russian government has seen these maneuvers (rightfully) as threatening and has opposed them.

Obviously, Dumbass Trump has been little better, but we can all rest assured that, through incompetence, Trump has been unable to get as much done as Clinton would have.

And that’s a good thing for Russia (and everyone else, btw)!

Starting around 7:35, Clinton starts telling a story about a time she met with Putin “in his dacha” in order to demonstrate that Putin is a terrible misogynist.

It, of course, doesn’t take a genius to realize that Putin is a patriarchal piece of shit. His whole image is that of ultra-masculinity. However, we should ask ourselves the question: what’s the function of this story?

It’s to make sure that everyone is on Clinton’s side against Putin (and, of course, we must hate Russia, because we hate Putin).

Why doesn’t Clinton focus on other avowed misogynists?

Like King Salman or Bibi Netanyahu?

Or how about Bill Clinton?


I’d like to end this with a story, just so we have the entire context here.

There was a significant event in 1996 that ought to be retold – the second election ever in the Russian Federation. Boris Yeltsin was running for re-election under very bad circumstances. He had been wildly popular in the beginning and watched that popularity dwindle as he did things like literally bomb the parliament building in central Moscow in 1993. At the same time, the economy was failing and the Russians were bombing Grozny to hell in the separatist republic of Chechnya.

So things weren’t going very well.

At the same time, a lot of people were looking back on the Soviet Union and realizing that they had lost a lot – public finances going to social security, healthcare, and education. Worker’s protections were also important. In Russia today, people refer to the 90s as “the wild 90s” and almost no one I’ve ever talked to has had anything positive to say about that time.

At this point, Gennady Zyuganov, the leader of the newly-formed Communist Party of the Russian Federation (replacing the Communist Party of the Soviet Union) looked like a superstar, promising to fix the economy and put Russia back on track as it moved into the 21st century.

Bill Clinton, president of the U.$. at the time, was not about to let a communist win the Russian elections.

In the run-up to the election, the U.$. and the IMF funneled money to the Russian government. Yeltsin was also given logistical help from the Clinton administration. Pretty much everyone agrees, in the end, Zyuganov would have won the election, but the government committed wouldn’t allow free and fair elections.


Essentially, the Clinton administration made important moves (up to and including direct election fraud) in order to ensure that Yeltsin won the 1996 elections.

Following this move, the Russian economy continued to spiral, the Russian government continued the War in Chechnya (and admitted defeat just a month after the election).

So, allow me to pose the question to you, dear reader: who in truth has a track record of interfering in foreign elections? Is Russia really the bogey-man that Clinton and her minions are trying to paint it as? Or is it the case that the Russian government simply refuses to be a vassal of the U.$.?


Doesn’t Islam Oppress Women?

This question, more than any other, is supposed to be the magic scoreboard that shows that the Enlightened West is morally superior to the Islamic world. Its point is to accuse Muslims of being backwards, medieval, and driven by a fundamentally misogynistic religion. But there are some presuppositions that ought to be addressed.

Firstly, Islam doesn’t say anything. Just like Christianity, Judaism, Hinduism, and Buddhism don’t say anything. Muslims say things. Christians say things. Buddhists say things. If you ask different Muslims about the status of women in Islam, you’d probably get as many answers as there are Muslims.

You may be asking, “Yeah, okay, but what does the Qur’an say? And what did the Prophet Muhammad say?”

The response (based on fourteen centuries) is that no one completely agrees on what the Qur’an “says” or what the Prophet Muhammad “said”. This is by no means a cop out. If you ask the Grand Mufti of Saudi Arabia you’ll genuinely get a different answer than if you ask the Grand Mufti of Egypt or the Ayatollahs of Iran or Iraq.

If this seems dubious, then you need to read “Qur’an and Woman” by Amina Wadud, a female Qur’anic scholar, who has a deep and practical reading of the Qur’an as well as a critical attitude towards the male-bias in much of the dominant traditions. And she is just one of countless people who reject, on Islamic grounds, patriarchy, misogyny, or the oppression of women in any circumstances.

Or check out Zohreh Sefati, a female Ayatollah, who believes that women should also be able to be sources of religious emulation in the Usuli Ithna’asheri Shi’a school in Iran. Check out the countless female academics, scholars, activists, revolutionaries, artists, and writers who are present in the Islamic tradition historically and today. In order to miss Muslim feminists, you have to be willfully ignorant of countless individuals about whom you could learn with a cursory google search.


There’s also the important aspect of singling out Islam, as if Islam is the wellspring from where female oppression flows.

This first-world, culturally-imperialist “feminism” begins with an absurd comparison between drastically dissimilar societies. “Well look at how women are treated in Sudan and how they’re treated in England. Islam is to blame!” Instead, let’s present a more honest comparison in order to judge how misogyny and Islam actually blend together.

Are women in Muslim Somalia more oppressed than women in Christian Ethiopia? Are Muslim Syrian, Lebanese, and Palestinian women worse off than their Christian counterparts? How about Muslim Bosniaks and Orthodox Serbs? Muslim Turks and Christian Armenians? Muslim women in India and Hindu women in India? Are Muslim Indonesian women worse off than Christian Filipino women?

The answer is no.

So why are you even asking the question: Doesn’t Islam oppress women?

Of course, it’s because you’ve heard it before. Repeated endlessly in the West and perpetuated by miseducation and a malicious (not uninformed, intentionally malicious) mass media, we’ve all been told that Muslim women are oppressed. After all, they all wear those headscarves! They look oppressed!

I imagine it must confuse a lot of people when practicing Muslim women choose not to wear hijab.

The real reason this question exists is because of Orientalism. Because the West has conceptualized and maintained a series of attitudes and stereotypes about Muslim culture and religion for centuries. The Muslim world is monolithic and there all women are either bellydancing or under a burqa.

Pakistan had a female prime minister throughout the 90s. The United States didn’t even have a mainstream female presidential candidate until 2008. Which standards do you want to use?

However, this question also implies something even more insidious than imagining that all Muslim women are oppressed. It assumes that non-Muslim women aren’t. As if Muslim women are experiencing oppression, whereas Christian, Hindu, Atheist, Jewish, and Buddhist women are all doing swell. You absolutely white-wash patriarchy and misogyny outside of the Muslim context.

Let’s not forget that the core assumption in the question is sexist. The question emboldens the patriarchal idea of male agency and female passivity. In painting Muslim women as all being oppressed, you are also painting them as powerless and ignorant. And to make it even worse, the real travesty is that they don’t even realize that they’re being oppressed. We must save them!

Does Islam oppress women?

No, but plenty of Muslims oppress women. Just as plenty of other people oppress women.

For the time being, we live in a sexist society with a sexist history and a sexist culture, and we all need to face that together. Throughout the world, patriarchy and misogyny structures almost every social interaction in disgusting ways. The only way to directly combat oppression is to embrace radical feminism, and nothing short thereof. More and more Muslim women are doing just that, regardless of whether or not they call it feminism. And if you’re not a Muslim women, you need to stand in solidarity with them, not try to tell them what to do. Women’s liberation does not mean cultural imperialism.

It’s not feminism to force a woman to take off her burqa.